~~~~~THE TBL NEWSLETTER~~~~~
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Contents:
I. Note from the Editor
II. News & Rumors
III. Columns
IV. Advertisements
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Note from the Editor:
The Balrog
balrog275@geocities.com
Note from the Editor:
Finally, back with a bang! After the prom, three essays, and a great mid-marking period report, I am back to my old ways! There will be more newsletters going out in the coming weeks…Bye!!!
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News & Rumors:
(From various sources, too numerous to name)
TBL Reporter’s Circle: burnonelng@aol.com / aaron@tstonramp.com
^^^Flair and Anderson^^^
Wrestling legends, Ric Flair and Arn Anderson, are set to make a few public appearances in the coming days. Look for them and for the results of their interviews on the internet. A lot can be told from what they tell us this weekend.
^^^Goldbust^^^
Thought that you saw the end of Goldust? Well, you MAY have. The incredible John Tenta has been given the nickname of GoldBUST. Need I say that there is a feud in the making?
^^^Executive Conflicts^^^
In case you haven’t heard, a few of Eric Bischoff’s front office staff members have left the WCW. No one of great importance has left. Bischoff’s executive secretary as left the WCW to become the same type of position in the WWF. There’s a smack to the face! Others that left include a public relations official and one of the heads of the research department at WCW. Subsequently, there is news that the WCW is offering Madden a few more bucks to stay so that he won’t leak information to the WWF.
^^^Ted DiBiase^^^
The only other news bit that I am hearing is the idea that Ted DiBiase will be giving more motivational speeches in the near future. With the recent boom of wrestling in the media, wrestlers are more of a “voice” to the society.
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Columns:
LouDog’s Eruptions
By: LouDog
BrdlyN6896@aol.com
THE NEW “ATTITUDE” IN WRESTLING AND WHY IT WILL PROPEL WWF TO THE TOP ONCE AGAIN
Hey, welcome to Loudog’s Eruptions. I gotta a mighty big mouth, and you know what that means, it means I’m gonna lay the truth on you in a major way. Their’s only two things you can do about it: Nothing, and Like it. Now, you smell what Loudog’s cooking? The title explains what I’m gonna be talkin about, so let’s get this party started.
Ya know, when you’ve been a wrestling fan as long as I have (11 years-I started watching it when I was three!), you begin to notice the return of old wrestlers in new gimmicks, old story lines repeated, and the sport evolve as a whole. The latter is a case with the WWF, and the new “Attitude”. In my opinion, as bold as Bischoff’s nWo idea was, Vince came up with the daring idea of Attitude. Here are some examples of the Attitude. We have seen the evolving, or devolving in some people’s minds, of Stone Cold Steve Austin. A long blonde haired faggot in WCW turned one of the most popular wrestlers ever. Their’s also been the creation of DX, although a spin off of the nWo, they took it to another level. I mean, DX takes the nWo havoc and makes it funny. How many times have you heard Hollywood get on the mic, and tell the crowd to S*CK IT? Never. The Kane/Undertaker thing is a perfect example of Attitude. And the DX invasion of WCW? That’s more than attitude, that’s plain ol’ Vinnie Mac having BALLS!!!
Now, this isn’t just a passing trend, this Attitude is here to stay. Bischoff is gonna be just another fly-by-night promoter in this industry unless he grows some sack and starts his own attitude. This is just another case of Vinnie Mac being here to stay, and Uncle Eric, you gotta do somethin about it. And taking Vinnie Mac’s brilliant takeover thing and challenging Vince is not gonna help. It’s not gonna increase PPV buys and you’ll get your ass kicked. You see the guns on McMahon when he was wearing that referee’s outfit. DAMN! Eric, although I can’t stand your company (I fall asleep during that damn first hour of Nitro), here’s a word to the wise: the nWo is slipping, they need a new story line. Chris Jericho needs to be more outrageous, and fire all the damn luchadores. Nobody cares about them.
That’s all for this week, kiddie’s. But before I go, may I just say that I was extremely dissapointed in Val Venis’ debut. He sucked! And to top it all off, Jenna Jameson wasn’t their. Fire Val (aka Sean Morely) and keep Jenna!
Cya,
Loudog
BrdlyN6896@aol.com
Tao of Funk
By: “Freakboy” John E. Funk
Mr.Freakboy2@juno.com
OH, IT FITS! Wake up, Funkaholics! The Freakboy is in and he’s got the cure for your E-Wrestling blues. I’m wired and I’m tired, and I am grinin’ like a fool. You caught me right smack in the middle of a post-graduation bender of alcohol and schtuff, but I always have time for the ones who love me most. That’s right, the people who truly understand me, my nearest and dearest, my Funkaholics. Before I get to the column, a shameless plug.
Friends, you too SAMJERRY (j/k), the Wrestling Writers Cup Tornament is almost upon us and now is the time for we all to join hands and rise above the competition. Okay, I’ll cut the BS. Vote for me, PLEASE?!? The contest is run in a number of fine, wholesome publications. One of which, the one I urge y’all to sign up for, is The Jobber Report with God’s other son Suptman@aol.com. E-Mail him, read the newsletter, and all will be explained. Remember, it’s not who you vote for, just as long as you vote…for me:-) End shameless plug.
Okay, so this past Wednesday the crew and I were in my local watering/hole in the wall. We were drinkin beer, shooting some darts and making fun of the neighborhood drunk. At some point in the evening, the conversation turned to wrestling. Maybe it was fate, or maybe it was the fact that I was wearing my WWF Attitude T-Shirt and some guy said “So, you like wrestling?” Regardless, there we all were sharing our favorite wrestling stories and anecdotes. Now, sometime between the multiple shots of BlackHaus and the hour long Lynard Skynard marathon (which was really just the live version of Freebird), we started coming out with ideas for a RAW IS WAR Drinking Game. So out came the pens and the cocktail napkins, and here is what we came up with:
Crowd gives Austin a “Hell Yeah”-1 Drink
Crotch Chop-1 drink per chop
DX says “Suck It”-1 Drink
Everytime you see the peoples elbow-1 Drink
McMahon gets beat up-1 Drink after you stop laughing
Every Double Entendre-1 Drink
You see a horse or some other farm animal-1 Drink
Someone changes to Nitro-0 Drinks, free punch on the guy with the remote
Sable or Sunny gives a T&A exhibition-Gentlemans Drink
DX gives a T&A exhibition-Ladies Drink (we is equal opportunity)
Chainz or Scorpio gets jobbed out-2 Drinks, 1 for you and 1 for them
Taka EVER defends his title-3 drinks (I doesn’t happen much)
Every “Place Name Here 3:16” sign- 1 Drink
Every “Place Name Here 4:20” sign- 0 Drinks, but send someone for munchies
A Title changes hands-Chug whats left of your drink
Smallz falls asleep at a PPV-Drink his drink (Smallz is our narcoleptic friend)
RAW is over-Find the guy that didn’t drink to drive you to the bar
That’s the game. Drink in good health. In the immortal words of Chef “There’s a time to experiment, it’s called College!” I just ask that y’all remember to be save. If you’re drinking, don’t drive. If you’re driving, would you mind stopping by Dunkin Donuts if we give you money?
Mr.Freakboy2@juno.com
Over the Top Rope
By: Michael Finnegan
MFinnegan1@aol.com
Whoooooo. That’s right it’s time again for your paragon of virtue, the #5 man on Macho Man’s intergalactic hit list, Michael The Brain Finnegan! Slamboree is passed and quite a decent Pay Per View. No quite good enough for the average WWF mark but definetly good enough to make it on to Tony’s list of the greatest nights in the history of our sport. Mind you that’s a long list but it makes it none the less. Couple things my eye on this PPV. I was very impressed with Fit Finley. He worked the match and the fans quite well. Finley delivered quite a few good manuevers and got decent heel heat. Although Benoit lost, I don’t feel so bad about Finley remaining champ. I guess the Benoit is the uncrowed champ angle will be played for a few more years at least. Next noteworthy event, sorry Lex Luger, was the cruiserweight battle royal, the more I see them the less I like them. Battle Royals may have been cool in years past but these really suck now. A couple of decent high spots by Juventud who is extremely over at this point was about it as far as action goes. Chris Jericho introduced all the competitors. Best introduction was while introducing Johnny Swinger Jericho said, “Johnny Swayer Johnny Swinger anybody ever heard of this guy.” The battle royal went down to Ciclope and Juventud. It took me till about when they shook hands to realize who the mask Ciclope really was, they played this part pretty well. Juventud then jumps over the ropes and Ciclope unmasks and un wigs to reveal none other than Dean Malenko. Malenko after hitting a major top rope gut buster makes Jericho submit to the Texas Clover Leaf to win it. DDP and Raven in the Bowary death match. This one left a bad taste in my mouth. If not for the ending this match would have sucked big time. Decent spots with the weapons but nothing really more than average. Raven not being able to answer the ten count after only one Diamond Cutter was also very disappointing. This really was an extremely poor Ecw ripoff. Mortis coming out and handcuffing everyone then semi-crucifing Raven to the cage was bitter-sweet. It was awesome to see Mortis get a major spot, but dumb because it badly imitated the Raven Tommy Dreamer ECW spot. At least he didn’t hang the chair on Raven’s head. The Guerrero and the Dragon wrestled an extremely good match with Eddy beating the Dragon with his own dragon sleeper. This probably was the best pure wrestling match of the night. Lots of La Magistral Cradles, Suicidas, and other various moves. After Eddy won, Chavo then beat the tar out of the Dragon. If I were the WCW I’d take this opportunity to have the Dragon come out and say he’s so embarrised he’s leaving wrestling. Eddy can then play it up and have the Dragon return unmasked as Hiro Asato or some other catchy asian name coming back to save the honor of Ultimo, not Ultimo Dragon just Ultimo. You save bucks in a lawsuit, add heat to Eddy, and retain continuity all in one fell swoop. I’m brilliant, I could book this stuff twice as good as Jim Ross. By the way, it is being reported that the WWF has discontinued the midget division because Jim Ross and Kevin Kelly accidently ate the midgets, although the promise it will never ever happen again. Goldberg wrestled Saturn, Saturn looked good Goldberg brawled then speared Saturn Jackhammer match over. Yes English teachers of America that is a run on but quite frankly that’s what Goldberg’s matches are now. Watching Goldberg face anyone until 99-0 is gonna bore me now. It’s pretty obvious he’s gonna win it’s just a matter of how long the match goes. It’s really sad to see a guy like Saturn get stuck jobbing. Savage vs Hart decent match if for nothing else star power. Savage hit the big elbow and should have won. If Savage is scripted to lose don’t have him hit the big elbow, the move is so breath taking and him jobbing after it just takes away from the big elbows greatness. Hogan runs in and Hart wins, no nothing real big happend like I said average match at best. Outsiders vs Sting and The Giant, Sting and The Giant win due to Scott Hall nailing Big Sexy with the title belt. Decent ending that kinda surprised me. Sure I’d heard the rumors but it actually happend I guess what Hogan wants Hogan gets. Monday night Sting said no NWO and Big Kev came to the Stinger’s aid. Sting Wolpac, only time will tell. WCW hindered by the playoffs really didn’t take any momentum away from what I saw. Really lackluster card, Saturn vs Pschosis was good but honestly Saturn Glacier feud, who cares? Glacier is dead leave the man in his grave, don’t drag Perry Saturn down with him. Another Goldberg squash, and then the Sting decision. This was the worst night of Nitro I have seen in a very long time. Any momentum from Slamboree is gone. I’d also like to say, Eric shut up about the you versus Vinnie Mac unless you show at their Pay Per View. I’m about as interested in Eric vs Vince as I am in getting Meanie Saulted through a table. Another pretty good Raw although the old WWF predictability is starting to surface. Hopefully the additions of Val Venis and Al Snow help to disrupt the Vince Confrentation+Sable Mero fight+Dx Bit+ UT Kane Bit+ Austin main event=Raw formula. Is it just me or is the WWF’s #1 contender spot getting thrown around pretty quickly. When was it that all you need to do was win one match to get that thing? Then again most WWF fans are to blind to notice that stuff. Over the Edge right now is shaping up to be a little better than No Way Out of Texas. In other words this one’s gonna suck. Guess what, no way is Austin not beating Dude Love or getting Dqed. Austin is the hottest commodity and his clothing line is selling like wildfire, no way you job this guy. Guess what mask vs mask match, Kane will lose, because his action figure has no mask. I personnaly expect some type of Undertaker run in causing Kane to lose. I imagine Kane’s face will be covered in some type of face paint to look like burns so that it isn’t down right obvious we’re looking at Lawler’s dentist. Farooq will beat Rocky. Blackman will lose to Jarrett by some underhanded means extending this worthless feud. I’m going against the Internet dirt sheet writers and I think the Nation Beats Dx with Owen’s sharpshooter. This leads to a tag title reign by Owen and Rocky. I just don’t see Owen in Dx. I mean Owen telling a dick joke is like Chyna being in a swimsuit magazine. What I’m saying is these matches really don’t excite me. Nothing close to an evening gown match or even a Hardcore light Inferno Match. Well, on to the ratings, Raw is basically kicking the boys down south rear ends and the reasons why are as apparent as Dusty Rhoads’s weight promblem. WCW gimmicks suck and they don’t have as much quality wrestling on anymore. You know Uncle Eric is in trouble when Juvi misses the 450. The thing to remeber all you WWF bandwagoneers is that as Eazy-E pointed out Raw really only has won a couple week recently. The real test comes when TNT doesn’t have to prempt Nitro or Thunder for other sporting events. For the moment though, Vinny Mac is in the drivers seat and the race is his to lose. Remeber it’s only illegal when you get caught, God Bless.
MFinnegan1@aol.com
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