Saturday, January 6
“You were brought in by me. There is no women’s division here. What are you going to do? Go back to Wal-Mart? Go back to Taco Bell? Go back to your uncle’s Golden Wok? Flipping rice patties?” – James Storm to Gail Kim
Thursday, January 18
“Abyss is a piece of shit. A piece of garbage!” – James Mitchell to Sting
“Let’s go shopping for condos.” – Eric Young talking to JB about male protection
“Hey, I won a blue ribbon! I was all-county in the long jump!” – AJ Styles comparing his accolades to Kurt Angle’s
Thursday, January 24
“I wouldn’t help you if your car was stuck on the tracks and the train was 3 seconds from hitting you!” – Samoa Joe telling Kurt Angle how much he likes him
“We employ you as…wrestlers, not as the heads of some SM parlor and not to dress up like the cast of Scary Movie 7!” – Jim Cornette talking to Raven and Seratonin
“Say hello to Uncle Fester for me.” – Jim Cornette saying good bye to Raven and Seratonin
“What are you looking at you harlot? I know you want me…” – Ms. Brooks to Leticia Cline (hilarious!)
Thursday, February 1
“You crazy kids nowadays with 6 sided rings. Back in my day, we had 2 sided rings made out of skeepskin and cow testicles.” – Chris Sabin acting like an old man backstage
“You want to get even with him? Marry him! That’ll teach him!” – Cornette squeezing a one-liner in during the Hemme-James argument
Thursday, February 8
“AJ, I like your Style. I like your hood. I like your chain, too.” – Christian Cage with a really weird compliment to AJ Styles
Thursday, February 15
“And I don’t care how many times Triple H had to sleep with the boss’ daughter, I beat him!” – Scott Steiner saying how many of us feel about Triple H’s position in WWE
Thursday, February 22
“Beat his ass! Beat his ass! Beat his ass!” – The crowd during the Belting Pot match
Thursday, March 8
“I heard you had a pair but I didn’t know anything about a team!” – Jim Cornette to the newly feminist Christy Hemme
Thursday, March 15
“Christian. Do me a favor – shut up!” – Jim Cornette telling Christian how it is in TNA
Thursday, May 3
“The only people that ought to be fired around here are you and that flirtation floozie of yours!” – Jim Cornette desribing Ms. Brooks to Robert Roode
Thursday, May 17
“There’s not going to be a glass ceiling in TNA like in some of these other wrestling organizations” – Jim Cornette taking a shot at “other wrestling organizations”
Sunday, May 20
“Cena has to compete tonight like Khali just hit his momma with a 2×4.” – Jim Ross on the John Cena/Great Khali Match at Judgment Day
Monday, May 28
“Let’s go Cena! Cena sucks! Let’s go Cena! Cena sucks! Let’s go Cena! Cena sucks! Let’s go Cena! Cena sucks!” – The Toronto crowd during the main event of RAW
Thursday, May 31
“What are you doing in my chair, boy? There’s only three square feet in this building that I want and you’re in it!” – Jim Cornette telling Eric Young to move out of his chair
Thursday, June 7
“Hold it, hold it, hold it! Don’t make a move! Do not move! I said there was going to be no men beating up women in TNA and I mean it. Don’t put your hands on that woman!” – Jim Cornette holding the company line on man vs. woman violence in TNA
“This is awesome! This is awesome!” – Fans in TNA’s Impact Zone reacting to the James Storm vs. Chris Harris match
Thursday, June 14
“I’ve been running wrestling promotions since…you were still wetting the bed, you know that, don’t ya?” – Jim Cornette explaining how long he’s been in the wrestling business to Leticia
“And you, you little blithering moron…as far as I’m concerned, you’re an idiot!” – Jim Cornette laying it down to the Phenomenal AJ Styles
“I want you to go out there and kill each other because it’s good for ratings.” – Jim Cornette explaining why he’s putting Angle, Samoa Joe, and Styles’ spots in the King of the Mountain match on the line
Thursday, June 21
“Mr. Cornette, with all due respect, would you get your head out of your ass?” – TNA Champion Kurt Angle’s reaction to Jim Cornette announcing the Match of Champions
Thursday, July 5
“You thought you were teaching me something? I’ve been under the covers of Christy Hemme the whole time. She’s the teacher, I’m the student.” – Lance Hoyt living every man’s dream
“Chris Harris is that guy who’s fixing to shatter that glass ceiling using your head as a battering ram!” – Jim Cornette telling Christian Cage to watch out for Chris Harris
Thursday, July 12
“Tomko. Styles. Three days. Click. Doomsday.” – The first words that Abyss has ever spoken in the almost 5 year history of TNA Wrestling
“If the lead singer of Nickelback could shut up…” – One of the X-Division guys telling Jerry Lynn to shut it up
“What’s that Jerry? You took me under your wang?” – Chris Sabin to Jerry Lynn as he and Alex Shelley had their shirts rolled up and were pinching their nipples
Thursday, July 19
“Hey! Were you looking at my package?” – Kurt Angle scolding Jeremy Borash for looking at his package
Thursday, July 26
“Tomko! Pay attention up here – don’t sit back there and play with your toy belt, alright?” – Christian Cage denigrating Tyson Tomko’s IWGP title
“You two fat asses don’t call us out, we call you out!” – Scott Steiner telling Brother Ray to shut it
“Why don’t you stand there and let your thyroid continue to spiral out of control and maybe you’ll gain a few more fat cells while I’m talking to you.” – Scott Steiner, once again, telling Brother Ray that he’s an idiot
Thursday, August 2
“She looked like she was like 5!” – AJ Styles commenting on Kurt Angle’s daughter…who he thought was his wife!
“Honey, you want a candy bar? Another one? Let me ask you something. Do you want to end up looking fat like Samoa Joe? Or having thunder thighs like Mommy?” – Kurt Angle insulting his wife in front of the world
Thursday, August 9
“They don’t have the satchel to come out to the ring and tell us this to our face.” – Christian’s spin on saying Sting, Abyss, and Martin don’t have any balls
Thursday, August 16
“If I got beef, I eat it.” – Ron Killings telling Pacman Jones, ummm…something
“If we gonna be down, we gonna be down like four flat tires.” – Another Ron Killings/Pacman Jones interaction moment
“Two more cashews in this bowl of mixed nuts I’m running…” – Jim Cornette explaining his view of the TNA locker room!
Thursday, August 23
“You’re a prick!” – Kaz telling Robert Roode what’s wrong with him
“That face is as phony as a ‘Get Well’ card from an undertaker!” – Jim Cornette describing Karen Angle’s features
Thursday, August 30
“I’m not gullible or stupid, okay? Wait are you serious?” – AJ Styles being gullible and stupid with Karen Angle
Thursday, September 13
“Look wherever you want for the biggest baddest Samoan…I don’t care if it’s Afa, Sika, I don’t care if it’s Don Ho for all I care!” – Christian giving props to the legendary Wild Samoans tag team
Thursday, September 20
“She didn’t do anything wrong!” – Kurt Angle telling the cops to leave his wife alone
Thursday, September 27
“Just ’cause you can do a backflip don’t mean you’re a professional wrestler. Hell, I take dumps bigger than most of you boys!” – BG James showing how he doesn’t get the “alternative” aura of TNA
Thursday, October 4
“I need answers, Jimmy!” – Sting telling Cornette that he wants to know what Angle’s up to
Thursday, October 11
“I mean I figured I’d find you up here. How long since I’ve been up in the rafters with you, buddy? Seems like old times – nWo days.” – Kevin Nash talking with Sting
“Kevin, don’t lose your edge, man.” – Sting offering some advice to Kevin Nash