EPISODE 3 – 14th October 2001
Written by: Marko
A nice Sunday afternoon sees the McMahon’s out on a nice family picnic in the park. Shane, Linda and Steph sit in the sun as Vince reads the paper.
Vince: You’re not going to believe this, Clint Eastwood’s been arrested for a crime he didn’t comm…..oh wait it’s a film.
Shane : Hey pops, why don’t we get a hot actress involved in an angle ?
Vince : Well, Kurt said he wanted an Angle involved in a hot actress.
Linda : Pfffffffff, men
Steph : Where ????????
Linda : No, I mean……..MEN
Steph : Oh I see, but they’re definitely no men here though ?
Shane : Well, there are them two guys over there……are they holding hands ?
Steph : Ewwwwwwwww. What does that mean daddy ?
Vince : Erm, it means their gay Steph.
Shane : Pfffffffffff, there is no such things as gays, they’re just lazy versions of us.
Vince : I’d be buggered if I were gay.
Steph : He dad that’s not fair, I know a gay guy. He says when he first discovered he was gay, it was quite a blow. He’s doing well, he invented Camp Poker. Queens are wild and straights don’t count.
Linda : Right you three, that is enough.
Shane : C’mon, we’d better get going, it’ll be dark soon.
Vince : Ha, you’re not scared of the dark are you ? It’s all about the sun……it…..we….erm….It has something to do with clouds.
The family retire to their plush house for the evening
Vince : Linda, pour me a glass of wine dear.
Linda : Why can’t you get one yourself ?
Vince : Because, I’m on the phone. They’ve put me on hold again. At least this time they are not playing On The Wings Of Love, they’re just playing the dial tone.
Shane : On The Wings Of Love, that’d be a good song for a Panty Liner advert.
Steph : Erm, dad, are you sure they’ve not just hung up ?
Vince : Oh, the BITCH.
Linda : Vince, if you want a glass of wine you’ll have to go down to the cellar to get a bottle.
Vince : Yea, ok, Shane, give’s a hand.
Shane : Yea, ok, I guess so.
50 minutes pass
Linda : Hmmmmm, it’s been an hour, where have Shane and Vince got to ?
Steph : Well, c’mon, you know Shane, he thinks an Autobiography is a car’s logbook.
Linda : Now c’mon Steph, your brother is a very intelligent man.
Steph : Erm…….we’d better go look for them
Linda and Steph make their way to the cellar
Vince : Linda, Steph, don’t close the ………….
Vince : Door.
Shane : We’ve been locked in here almost an hour, why didn’t you come down earlier ? I’m so hungry, I’m starting to hilusionate. I can see visions
Steph : Yeah, I know what that is like, member when I saw a vision of an angel in a painting ?
Shane : That wasn’t that strange Steph, it WAS a picture of an angel.
Linda : Anyways, we figured you two big tough guys new what you were doing, I had complete faith in you.
Steph : Yes, that and Oprah was on.
Vince : Right, how on earth are we going to get out of here.
Shane : Yeah, we’ve been thinking for the last 50 minutes, now you two have a go.
Linda : Hmmmmm, I got it, why don’t you go out through that window Shane, come through and open the door ?
Shane : Window ?? There is a window in here, Dad, you must’ve known about that !
Vince : Erm, yeah, sure, but I erm thought we could do with some Father Son time.
Shane : It’s reasons like this that I kick your ass in the ring all the time. Ahahahahaha.
Vince : Excuse me while I piss myself
Shane : Yea, sure, you just wait till I announce a BIG name that I’ve just signed for WCW on RAW tomorrow
Linda : Right, ok , let’s get out of here.
Who is the big star Shane has promised, will the McMahons actually get out of the cellar and will Steph EVER have a clue what’s going on ? Find out next week